My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Randomize
