she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
