somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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