The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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