I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
