you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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