Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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