so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
