Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
