Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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