Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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