we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
