please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
