I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
