why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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