apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
