He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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