Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I think I am morally bankrupt
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
All I want is dick and wine.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
