we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
