I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
