Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
