why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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