she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
