Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
