Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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