One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
