But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
