Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
