You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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