Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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