Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
