So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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