You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
