I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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