Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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