so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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