Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
