Swine flu. Run for my life!
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
