I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
