i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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