My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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