Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
