every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
