Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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