Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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