Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
