the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
