I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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