And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
