I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
