Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Hippo gnu deer
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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