Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
