I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I have tasted many bathrooms
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
