WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Hippo gnu deer
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
