If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
