Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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