He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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