so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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