is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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