Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
