Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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