My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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