**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
