Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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