If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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